It all started with a long and very drab second hour in which the teacher seemed to prove either she’s already dead or breathes through her skin for not once did she stop to take a breath (Trust me, I am sure;I was waiting for her to fall dead).
Lying in my almost supine position shielding people behind who were writing assignments I wandered into usual myrid array of thoughts. Meanwhile as the teacher droned on about how we neglect this variable and assume that ( It She seemed to be trying to prove that George bush’s dog was related to osama bin laden’s pet camel.), enlightenment dawned on me.
We ve been doing it since school but none of us has ever sat down and pondered about why do we actually do these derivations. For those unacquainted I refer to the usually lengthy equations from which we wrestle and grasp and try to manipulate it to emerge with what the teacher deems useful and worth providing marks for. First of all the very purpose of these derivations is lost on me. These equations surely have been already wrestled with by some kindred soul (May his/her/its soul rest in peace) and it is not like us inflicting further interrogation on the same equations which have already been battered to lead us to the same result is going to have some consequence. It all begins with a simple harmless looking expression which is deemed to be not what we want. We then pursue to mechanically and sadistically wallop, slash and inflict other atrocities until it is not recognizable. This is done using the various substitutions. We replace the small variables, the big variables, the ugly variables, the dangerous by invoking seldom heard of expressions that seem to relate what you surely thought wasn’t possible (Yes, I am sure there is some expression that relates the average lifespan of human eyelashes with the quantity with which the NITT cows liberally supply manure for the roads, basketball, courts and sometimes some plants by mistake). Liberally garnishing these facts variables can be replaced to make way for loftier or more eligible ones. But the worst part is all the assumptions that we very generously make. For eg if we look at this person from very far away we can’t make out the difference between him and an ant hence we can assume that his weight is almost the same as the ants hence can be neglected. These assumptions made for the purpose of simplifying things or even to make the equation look more presentable seem to leave me with a single disconcerting thought about why anybody hasn’t thought about it first- why don’t we simply assume whatever we are trying to prove and get done with it saving paper, time, and energy (so we can go back to sleep).
P.S.- I must solemly affirm that the realizations that the cycle tests are around the corner and the particular prevalence of a particular variety of questions as described in the article have no played no part in leading my train of rant into this particular direction.
Monday, September 1, 2008
Friday, August 8, 2008
Rated (Pi)
Ahoy there! The Pirates have come. And how!
Fellow Traveller on our voyage through the depths of Sarcaustic Ocean, be prepared- this is not a steady ship, and waters aint still either. The loot is there- plentiful at that- but the delights are singular and seldom. The Radio- note the capital R- was unearthed, initially for the fest. Sorry, Fest. The Fest to remember, during September. The time when in the remote hinterlands of the Tamizh cow belt, humans get the Mood to Moo. That, at least, was why we were conceived.
But the Crew rebelled. Stoic and steadfast, they declared, the loot was aplenty, (and well, while we were discussing the R), the crew wasn't yet twenty. There were ships to wreck while the sea was calm. So call this target practice. An exhibition of the feral savagery of the Crew, an eclectic account of their travails, trials and tribulations. Savour it! The diary of the Pirate isnt unveiled every pedestrian day.
And the ship is in the dock now. For stock taking- counting the pillage, and mourning those who have Passed On. Some seats are vacant, mind you, they have left their things behind- eye patches, sword sheaths, et al- and they dont fit all. We take only the fittest, most ready to wage battle- scathing, scorching, scourging and rampaging on, cackling the way through, for yes, the Sailors Wit is as incomprehensible as the sailors knot. Our wars are graphic, and so are our accounts, and if any of ye sea crazy blue blistering barnacles know the knack of the Photoshop, it might make your voyage easier. So too, if you can cartoon. Well look at ye new timers on Wednesday at 5 30 PM. Queue up! The battle may be tough, but it sure is fun. And if youve got the knack for it, its an easy sail through. And we aint joking.
This is a taster. Target practice. To welcome the new nittwit. And you havent seen anything yet.
- The Triumph and The Crew
Fellow Traveller on our voyage through the depths of Sarcaustic Ocean, be prepared- this is not a steady ship, and waters aint still either. The loot is there- plentiful at that- but the delights are singular and seldom. The Radio- note the capital R- was unearthed, initially for the fest. Sorry, Fest. The Fest to remember, during September. The time when in the remote hinterlands of the Tamizh cow belt, humans get the Mood to Moo. That, at least, was why we were conceived.
But the Crew rebelled. Stoic and steadfast, they declared, the loot was aplenty, (and well, while we were discussing the R), the crew wasn't yet twenty. There were ships to wreck while the sea was calm. So call this target practice. An exhibition of the feral savagery of the Crew, an eclectic account of their travails, trials and tribulations. Savour it! The diary of the Pirate isnt unveiled every pedestrian day.
And the ship is in the dock now. For stock taking- counting the pillage, and mourning those who have Passed On. Some seats are vacant, mind you, they have left their things behind- eye patches, sword sheaths, et al- and they dont fit all. We take only the fittest, most ready to wage battle- scathing, scorching, scourging and rampaging on, cackling the way through, for yes, the Sailors Wit is as incomprehensible as the sailors knot. Our wars are graphic, and so are our accounts, and if any of ye sea crazy blue blistering barnacles know the knack of the Photoshop, it might make your voyage easier. So too, if you can cartoon. Well look at ye new timers on Wednesday at 5 30 PM. Queue up! The battle may be tough, but it sure is fun. And if youve got the knack for it, its an easy sail through. And we aint joking.
This is a taster. Target practice. To welcome the new nittwit. And you havent seen anything yet.
- The Triumph and The Crew
Tune in. Drop out.
I stand in the middle of the road. Faceless souls drift along their paths, all around me. I am one among them, yet not like them. They see me, but fail to perceive my presence. The high levels of anxiety in their psyche act like shackles. The gloomy environ doesnt dampen my spirit. For the moment, I choose to be oblivious of the mounting pressures due to the political, economic and personal spheres. I am happy and in a mood to connect and blend with the milieu. I wish to philosophize, without altering anyones conscience, by telling everyone that it just takes a bit of hope, curiosity and fascination to enjoy the little time we have in hand. I am confident that there are more like me, somewhere in this crowd, who are slowly discovering their singularity and also of the fact that it wont be long before we all do so too. All we need is just a little magic; Magic captured in two lines- Tune in. Drop out.
- el cid
- el cid
Workshops @ Festember
Festember 07 saw unprecedented success, gathering a following like never before and undoubtedly a part of that could be attributed to the workshops, which were introduced for the first time. One look at the range of workshops conducted and it is easy to deduce that they were multidimensional and effortlessly provided the participants with hands on knowledge and fun simultaneously.
At Festember 07, participants got to know the nuances of performing arts with a workshop on Theatre conducted by Preetam Koilpillai of Bangalores famous Blackcoffee Productions. Those interested in the art of Radio Jockeying got first hand information from Anil Machado, the content manager of Bangalores Radio One network. Art lovers had their own reasons to rejoice as Chennais much appreciated and loved art house Dakshina Chitra conducted workshops on fields as diverse as Origami, Caricature as well as Pottery. The popularity and success of the workshops could easily be gauged by the packed auditoriums and the visibly enthused participants.
Festember 08 promises to be bigger and better than its previous editions. A glimpse at the workshops on offer and youd realize what were talking about. New, radically different and exciting workshops are on the cards and promise to have something for everyone out there!
Interested in shaking a leg and learning new dance moves? Here is your chance to be a part of the Latino culture as Flyerz Dance Academy from Chennai will conduct an exclusive Salsa Workshop! Always wondered how some people manage to crack that ever elusive Hindu crossword? Learn the tricks of the trade from the Balls by Picasso in Crossword Solving for Dummies. Dream of taking that Pulitzer winning picture with your ordinary digital camera? Award winning photographer Jayant Sharma from Bangalore will show you how, in his workshop on Digital Photography. See yourself as the next fashion icon but unsure about the basics? Students from NIFT, Bangalore will show the way in their workshop on Fashion & Overall Styling. Always believed that theres a writer inside you, aching to let loose? Let Sidin Vadukut, one of Indias leading blogger and a NITT graduate, based in Mumbai; nurture your literary ambitions with his workshop on Creative Writing. Get ready to get your hands dirty as Dakshina Chitra also makes a re-entry with a workshop on Pottery!
Reason enough to look forward to Festember 08? Watch this space for more exciting details!
- Ashish Shah,
Manager- Workshops
At Festember 07, participants got to know the nuances of performing arts with a workshop on Theatre conducted by Preetam Koilpillai of Bangalores famous Blackcoffee Productions. Those interested in the art of Radio Jockeying got first hand information from Anil Machado, the content manager of Bangalores Radio One network. Art lovers had their own reasons to rejoice as Chennais much appreciated and loved art house Dakshina Chitra conducted workshops on fields as diverse as Origami, Caricature as well as Pottery. The popularity and success of the workshops could easily be gauged by the packed auditoriums and the visibly enthused participants.
Festember 08 promises to be bigger and better than its previous editions. A glimpse at the workshops on offer and youd realize what were talking about. New, radically different and exciting workshops are on the cards and promise to have something for everyone out there!
Interested in shaking a leg and learning new dance moves? Here is your chance to be a part of the Latino culture as Flyerz Dance Academy from Chennai will conduct an exclusive Salsa Workshop! Always wondered how some people manage to crack that ever elusive Hindu crossword? Learn the tricks of the trade from the Balls by Picasso in Crossword Solving for Dummies. Dream of taking that Pulitzer winning picture with your ordinary digital camera? Award winning photographer Jayant Sharma from Bangalore will show you how, in his workshop on Digital Photography. See yourself as the next fashion icon but unsure about the basics? Students from NIFT, Bangalore will show the way in their workshop on Fashion & Overall Styling. Always believed that theres a writer inside you, aching to let loose? Let Sidin Vadukut, one of Indias leading blogger and a NITT graduate, based in Mumbai; nurture your literary ambitions with his workshop on Creative Writing. Get ready to get your hands dirty as Dakshina Chitra also makes a re-entry with a workshop on Pottery!
Reason enough to look forward to Festember 08? Watch this space for more exciting details!
- Ashish Shah,
Manager- Workshops
Dawn and Dusk
What is this life
Such a steep and winding road
With speculation rife
That more burdensome be the load.
Struggle on!
The great, wise men say
A dark night yields but a virgin dawn
That flood but always follow the spray.
Trudging ahead
With feet weary and worn
Sanguine quips keeping me in good stead
Happy, cheerful and not forlorn.
And so I state
For all ye trekkers, journey through!
The shadow may loom larger than the gait,
But, the chaste morn, not the gloomy dusk, subdue?
- The Triumph
Such a steep and winding road
With speculation rife
That more burdensome be the load.
Struggle on!
The great, wise men say
A dark night yields but a virgin dawn
That flood but always follow the spray.
Trudging ahead
With feet weary and worn
Sanguine quips keeping me in good stead
Happy, cheerful and not forlorn.
And so I state
For all ye trekkers, journey through!
The shadow may loom larger than the gait,
But, the chaste morn, not the gloomy dusk, subdue?
- The Triumph
Requiem
Life's light's a flickering candle,
Burning off and on.
Now it shines with all it's strength,
Now it's dead and gone.
Onward it shines through ups and downs,
This flickering ray still glows,
Traipsing through troubles, piercing darkness,
Serenity it silently shows.
Through long years this light persists,
This candle in the rain.
Riding roughshod over hill and valley,
Enduring all the pain,
'Til the hour of death and darkness,
When the light no longer glows,
The soul transcends to heaven and the body lies
In rest, requiem, repose.
-Perv
Burning off and on.
Now it shines with all it's strength,
Now it's dead and gone.
Onward it shines through ups and downs,
This flickering ray still glows,
Traipsing through troubles, piercing darkness,
Serenity it silently shows.
Through long years this light persists,
This candle in the rain.
Riding roughshod over hill and valley,
Enduring all the pain,
'Til the hour of death and darkness,
When the light no longer glows,
The soul transcends to heaven and the body lies
In rest, requiem, repose.
-Perv
%#@#SWE@RING@#: The key to success for Women
I dont really know this for a fact, but my Profs tell me that I may, one day, have to actually work for a living, and my talents of being able to sleep more than a hibernating polar bear are worth less than rat crap. This may not be true and maybe just another evil scheme by evil-scheming Profs to mess with my simple mind. So after much thought, mostly about simple things, I made up my simple mind to come up with an evil plan myself. I shared this evil plan with my friends, and they pointed out gaps in the plan that were bigger than the plan itself. I swore. And then I wrote this article.
For man, swearing can help them bond with other men, But this contributes only in a tiny way to business success. Men are expected to swear so it means little when they do. There is no shock value.
For e.g.: If a man comes to the office of another man and offers to show him a report, a typical response might be- Ah, shove it up your a*s and die.
Then both men laugh and spit and make passing references to hooters thus creating a lifelong bond that cannot be broken. Its not pretty but swearing has its place among men, albeit a minor one.
For women, its very different. Swearing can be shocking and attention-grabbing. Its a sign of female power and a disregard for boundaries. And its the second most important factor for success.
Female success factors: 1. Who you know; 2. Swearing; 3. Education ; 4. What you do.
I have reached this conclusion after observing an admittedly small sample of successful female executives who swear like wounded pirates. Its not my fault that the sample size was small cause apparently, I repel women. Dont get me started. To understand how swearing can help women, consider the following hypothetical situations :
Scenario #1:
A man comes to a womans office and offers to show her a report. The woman responds by saying, Well, Im a bit busy right now. Undeterred by this mild rebuff, the man will pull up a chair and proceed to chew up an hour of the womans valuable time. Eventually the womans productivity will be devoured by an endless parade of men who would rather talk to her than do work. Her career will begin a death spiral, until eventually she becomes an Assistant Lecturer at NITT (bedrock). And if she doesnt learn to swear, she wont be much of an Assistant Lecturer either.
Scenario #2:
A man comes to a womans office and offers to show her a report. The woman responds by saying, Ah, shove it up your a*s and die. The man will be momentarily stunned. It is unlikely he will pull up a chair. Nor will he experience any bonding. He will probably back slowly out the door. The womans productivity will skyrocket. What about the repercussions? The woman might someday need a favour from the man she has just verbally abused. Fortunately for her, all men are trained at birth to accept verbal abuse from women and get over it rather quickly. And in the unlikely event that the man shows some hesitation to be helpful in the future, the situation can be smoothed over with the simple communication technique of saying, Do it now or Ill rip off your nu*s and shove them down your throat.
There are three scenarios Ive left out but they can be discussed easily:
Action : Result
Man swears at woman : Six-year prison sentence.
Woman swears at woman : How would I know?
Person swears at computer : Improved operation.
- Sensei
For man, swearing can help them bond with other men, But this contributes only in a tiny way to business success. Men are expected to swear so it means little when they do. There is no shock value.
For e.g.: If a man comes to the office of another man and offers to show him a report, a typical response might be- Ah, shove it up your a*s and die.
Then both men laugh and spit and make passing references to hooters thus creating a lifelong bond that cannot be broken. Its not pretty but swearing has its place among men, albeit a minor one.
For women, its very different. Swearing can be shocking and attention-grabbing. Its a sign of female power and a disregard for boundaries. And its the second most important factor for success.
Female success factors: 1. Who you know; 2. Swearing; 3. Education ; 4. What you do.
I have reached this conclusion after observing an admittedly small sample of successful female executives who swear like wounded pirates. Its not my fault that the sample size was small cause apparently, I repel women. Dont get me started. To understand how swearing can help women, consider the following hypothetical situations :
Scenario #1:
A man comes to a womans office and offers to show her a report. The woman responds by saying, Well, Im a bit busy right now. Undeterred by this mild rebuff, the man will pull up a chair and proceed to chew up an hour of the womans valuable time. Eventually the womans productivity will be devoured by an endless parade of men who would rather talk to her than do work. Her career will begin a death spiral, until eventually she becomes an Assistant Lecturer at NITT (bedrock). And if she doesnt learn to swear, she wont be much of an Assistant Lecturer either.
Scenario #2:
A man comes to a womans office and offers to show her a report. The woman responds by saying, Ah, shove it up your a*s and die. The man will be momentarily stunned. It is unlikely he will pull up a chair. Nor will he experience any bonding. He will probably back slowly out the door. The womans productivity will skyrocket. What about the repercussions? The woman might someday need a favour from the man she has just verbally abused. Fortunately for her, all men are trained at birth to accept verbal abuse from women and get over it rather quickly. And in the unlikely event that the man shows some hesitation to be helpful in the future, the situation can be smoothed over with the simple communication technique of saying, Do it now or Ill rip off your nu*s and shove them down your throat.
There are three scenarios Ive left out but they can be discussed easily:
Action : Result
Man swears at woman : Six-year prison sentence.
Woman swears at woman : How would I know?
Person swears at computer : Improved operation.
- Sensei
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